NEVER JET HOT

I have an idea on how we could use this "let me google that for you" tool for a search utility... Let's say you wanted to look at our fart-based products: Let me google the fart search for you...

I was just trying to cull some old blog posts here, I discovered that we are honored to have been featured on the obscure "Weird Things for Sale on the Internet" webpage, since at least 1993! Where does the time go? ” You may scoff, but I think these little hobby pages, tucked away in subdirectories of their ISP, little known, are the oregano in the great spaghetti that is the Internet. It just wouldn't be the same without it, but no would be able to put their finger on exactly why.

Watch out for this when shopping online! Sen. Rockefeller's committee has been looking into the practices of post-transaction marketers for months. The practice Rockefeller is going after involves the pop-up windows that appear on some e-commerce sites after a customer has completed a transaction. The pop-ups offer a coupon or some other incentive, but once a user clicks through, he can be automatically enrolled in a club that automatically bills his credit card for a monthly membership fee. We don't have after-sale offers, when you finish buying what you have in your cart, we are done. Also applies to mail and phone orders. Personally I hope they throw the book at these crooks, besides it's bad for business when other online sellers are ripping people off. P.S. Click the title of this post to read the article, courtesy ecommerce-guide.com

I like what our store contractor, Zoovy, did about the shipping method selections… You still select a method early in the process, but now there is a display of all of the available shipping methods and prices for your specific weight and destination, on the screen after you put in your address. Laid out in front of you, instead of a drop-down box. See green arrow below.  

Tired of overcharges on shipping? It’s hard to set up a perfect shipping algorithm, sometimes our cart “charges too much”. So here’s an idea: Put the phrase “Refund Excess Shipping” in the comments part of your order, and any shipping charge that exceeds actual postage, will be refunded. Suppose I should put some “fine print” to that; #1 Not valid on prior orders #2 Offer may be withdrawn at any time. (I’ll come back and make a note here if we do) #3 Offer void where prohibited. I always see that in newspaper contests and whatnot, where is this place that prohibits offers? Sounds like a drag.

Our Bullet through the window gag works even better in bunches, because really, who only fires one bullet? Now 88 cents when you get two or more.

Itchy people, take heart. We have the xtra fancy metal extendo backscratcher , extends to 20 inches(!) - As low as $4.44 (for 2 or more)

I just caught a snippet of an old "Happy Days" episode... Mr. C is being cross-examined by Richie (All of a sudden he's a lawyer?) - at some community hearing about putting an offramp in and destroying "Inspiration point". Richie asks, "Do you have a family, Mr. Cunningham?" He responds, "I have a wonderful wife, a lovely daughter, and a smart-Alec son". So why wouldn't he mention Richie's older brother, Chuck, only seem in the early episodes? I had assumed that he was away at college, or in the Army? In either case, one would think Mr. C would mention him. That's why I think Chuckie died, or was disowned for some reason. Maybe he went to work for Ace Hardware, or some other big chain store. That would just about kill Howard.

I hesitated to get these belly button brushes , they look like something Barbie would use to clean her toilet, like she ever did any housework. But it's a fun gag item, a great stocking stuffer or geocache swag (google it!)

I had a customer inquiring about these stupid cussing, insulting parrots that we used to carry, they are surprisingly hard to find, all the usual sources were out of stock. we got a dozen, that's usually not a good plan because 1 or 2 always get confiscated for "product testing". It's annoying to have the bird saying "(tweeet) Hey you! Go F yourself! (Skwaawk)" when I'm on the phone.

I suspect that these bottles of stink perfume are being put in motel medicine cabinets by disgruntled housekeepers. They always seem to ship in batches. But you can get just one for $3.29, less in quantity.

If you really want to help the economy, you will need scads of Obama 00 bills , even though they are worth about, uh, 16 cents. (That's what we get for them anyway; $3.94 or less per pad of 25)

Some people just don't understand when they see a token that says TUIT. So we now offer these "Explanatory" tuits , that spell it out for you. Sheesh!

Our “novelty money guy” finally came out with a Michael Jackson Souvenir bill . I guess he thought it was too soon until now. My philosophy is when it comes to celebrities, it’s never too soon as long as it’s a tastefully done souvenir, as opposed to a parody product. The market will decide.

Our “BS Bags”  are specifically marked “not for government use”. (They just can’t handle that kind of load) Ten packs as low as $1.75 

Teresa’s response upon seeing our new “horny toad” box gag ; “Now what?…. Oh, brother!” As low as $1.50 each in quantity

I heard Hillary Clinton broke her elbow arm-wrestling Obama in the White House basement, so I figure we better put a better price on these “Hillary Zero dollar” novelty bills , since it’s sort of mean spirited to be selling those while she’s laid up and unable to palaver with Heads of State, Bill should man up and negotiate peace, wash the dishes, etc.

Actually more like “tacky bits”– the infamous reclining nude with the salt and pepper shaker boobs , to use the vernacular of the proletariat. $5.94 or less, and no “RENO” tattoo on her!

We have the amazingly realistic "fake arm" back in stock after a considerable absense, and as low as $4.90 when you get 2 or more.

I can’t believe they still make these “Who’s in the doghouse” boards – includes five dogs, comes in a nice red carton. We have them for $4.94 or less!

These sewing kits are great for on-the-go emergencies, retro gold tuck and roll look clutch has everything, scissors, buttons, ruler, etc. All you need is your reading glasses. You did bring your reading glasses, didn’t you? HP1111 Gold Sewing Kit , as low as $1.75

Our Completely spineless pencil  can be swapped with the smart kid’s pencil to slow him down. Or you could just look over the kid’s shoulder. Now As low as 75 cents in quantity.

I don’t know if cards become “groovy” just because the box says they are, but these high quality coated “groovy” playing cards are giving it a go. Now as low as $1.20 a deck!

NEW ITEM –  Cotton candy flavored toothpicks ! Eighty toothpicks, plus the best tin yet. Great carnival graphics and a slide off top. Also the toothpicks are great for removing wedged bits of popcorn. As low as $1.70 in quantity.

We reduced the price of our Magnetic clean/dirty Dishwasher Magnet , now just $1.49 each! I think 49 is one of those psychological price points. Anyway, in quantity they are as low as 90 cents! Because we have a ton of these crazy things, takes too long to sell one at a time! Buy ‘em for resale and experiment with your own brand of pop psychology!

I just gave Larry , Moe , and Curly  the same discount treatment as Marilyn Monroe. Sorry, no Shemp.

Drive for less, if you can pass yourself off as Marilyn Monroe. Of course if you can do that, your life would be pretty sweet. Unless you are a guy?? Item CM9030 Marilyn's License As low as $1.20 each if you buy a dozen or more. Swap meet sellers hit this one out of the ballpark.

New quantity discounts on our Trillion Dol lar 25 packs. Richly detailed, a s real as anyone dares to make them. Now as low as $3.50 a pad, great swap meet item!

Only a few of these fun Assistant Manager Pennant s left at the super closeout price of just $1.97 each! I told you we would have super deals on this new page.

We have repurposed this page for showing item status for our discount novelty emporium, ThatRestlessMouse.com - That's what we're all about. To see my "personal blog" click the blog button above. -John

We have repurposed this page for showing item status for our discount novelty emporium, ThatRestlessMouse.com - That's what we're all about. To see my "personal blog" click the blog button above. -John

I am starting over with this blog, there are posts dating back to 2003, checking through them one at a time sure is slow going, many are being deleted for dead links, glowing references to gadgets that are now in the dustbin of history, (That's a real eye-opener about the money I have wasted along with my youth), Old Rants (Why an I such a whiner? Now I am whining about being a whiner) and a big category, posts that were just dumb. When I get done weeding this virtual garden, maybe some real work will get done around here.

If you were looking for Lakeside Novelty; We purchased the remaining inventory from Joel, and he also showed us where to get the merchandise So now you can find great quantity discounts on old Lakeside items such as the light-up rose, the Permanent Match, the Magnetic Scotty Dogs, Naked Lady striptease pens, etc. here. Please note that a lot of the old Lakeside items are no longer made, or they have become too pricey due to dollar value fluctuations. This is why we are (temporarily?) out of those fantastic Needle threaders. Some things have become too expensive to produce due to product testing requirements, or associated changes in the rules– I believe this is the case with “Smoking Monkeys”, which I have been unable to find spare cigarette packs for in recent weeks. If you have a Lakeside favorite that you don’t see on our website, be sure to click the CONTACT US button above, we will try to help.    

  We have an account on Twitter, mainly use it when I have something to say that would be an awful short blog post, maybe a quick joke, a coupon code or quick special, or whatever.   It seems that many or most people (Or uh, “tweeple”) follow dozens or hundreds of tweet accounts. So unless they are searching within Twitter, I doubt that our “followers” even notice our “tweets” as they go rushing by, this is one instance where the old saw about it being an “information superhighway” would seem to apply.   My main problem is that it seems to be such a tremendous waste of time to “follow” so many people, like me they only come up with anything interesting once in a blue moon, and time is too precious to monitor it. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go “buy” a couch for my “Sims” in Sims 3. Also I am reading a Phyllis Diller book, “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse”. I have my p...

Shift change at the Boeing Renton Factory Uh, Fremont Zombie walk (See, no lunchboxes)  

  Rumors of the death of Geocaching.com are greatly exaggerated; It’s down today and possibly several more days, due to a fire in the building that host the sterile banks of whirring computer servers that are the very lifeblood of any website.   Oddly enough, the building is in downtown Seattle, practically in the shadow of the Space Needle. I always envisioned these computers to be housed in some nondescript industrial park out in the boonies, not in prime Seattle real estate.   Unfortunately for me, it also knocked out our Verizon Internet for a time. There was a flurry of modem-resetting and “Is yours working?”, wailing and gnashing of teeth of course.   Teresa gnashes at the drop of a hat, I have been meaning to talk to her about that.   But I digress. The problem with Internet outages is that there is no good way to determine if it’s signal, hardware or software. I could call Verizon, but I have a feeling they are overtly covert abou...

  I clicked on the link to a video about the untimely and sad death of Billy Mays, as usual it was preceded by a commercial.   At first I was offended by that, is nothing sacred? But then I realized how totally and completely appropriate it was. I only wish it was for something that made me want to run to the phone and order it. I may never feel that way again.  

Heh, "stray at home mom"

Awww... Smile! It's Father's Day! I got Sims 3 from number one son... now trying to set it up to play YouTube videos on the sims TV sets... By the way, this is Louis Prima, not Armstrong.

  We’ve been gradually adding quantity discounts at ThatRestlessMouse.com – My goal was to finish adding all the items to the new “virtual cash register” software, THAT is a big job.   It doesn’t help productivity that I got “Sims 3” for Father’s Day. Those sims are harsh taskmasters, but at least they can somewhat take care of themselves in this version.   In earlier versions of that SIMS series, there would be situations where for some reason the sim would refuse to use the facilities, and would pee in the hall. Good thing they haven’t invented stink-o-vision yet.  

   I haven’t gotten much time to sit and watch TV lately, but what I have seen of the new Verizon Vios service on the TV side, I’m loving it. It blows cable out of the water.   Got a letter from Comcast today, informing me that Verizon is selling it’s fiber optic and telephone land line operations, or some portion thereof, to Frontier communications.   This smells like desperation. Should I be concerned? I remember when Verizon bought our phone line from GTE, nothing bad happened then.   I suppose it might put a few people off of switching to Verizon’s Vios from Comcast, especially with the unfortunate name of the new provider. Frontier? Are they going to come down main street with guns blazing, “This here Internet ain’t big enough for the both of us!”. Are they going to censor my Internet service? “We won’t be havin’ you lookin’ at no dadblame dance-hall girls on our range! ‘specially the o...

  I got to thinking, boy, it’s a real pain in the patootie to run two website, and we are always running into inventory related problems because of it. Also, I am tired of looking at this stupid computer monitor.   So I set up quantity discounts at ThatRestlessMouse.com, and we will be closing the NoveltyTradingPost.com site as soon as I get those discounts punched in.   So if you see discounts on some items but not on others, that’s why; I am also working a lot of overtime at my “drudgery” job, and nobody else around here wants to give the website any love, so it will take maybe a few weeks.   The goal is to be ever-so-slightly cheaper than the “competition” on almost every item. (Let’s not get carried away!)

  6/11/09 We had a guy from Verizon come out today and set us up with Telephone, TV and Internet via Fiber Optics. We all agree, he looks, sounds, and acts exactly like Charlie Sheen. Maybe a slightly less cheerful version of Charlie Sheen, but he has a sort of crappy job.   Anyway, I will probably blog a series of comments about this. I usually try to knock something out right before I leave for my night job, and of course it ends up looking sort of truncated because I’m always running late. It’s a passive-aggressive thang.   So, tip #1 for those installing Fios; immediately set up a “purchase password” under the “Parental Controls” menu, even if you live alone. Charlie says it’s easy to accidentally rent a movie otherwise.      

  I am still planning to get my all of my TV signal over the Internet, as stated earlier here.   In fact, I unplugged the bedroom TV’s “digital conversion box” that Comcast sent me, (It seems to be defective) and we get all of our TV in that room from DVDs, VHS tapes, or Internet sources, mainly the streaming movies that Netflix offers.   Those streaming movies are great, because if you stop and go do something else, even if you shut down the computer, when you come back to the Netflix page, you can start exactly where you left off, or optionally do it the old way, by scene selection.   But that’s not what I came here to talk about. We have signed up with Verizon fiber optic (Fios) service for telephone, TV signal (similar to basic cable) and Internet (basically faster broadband).   I wish I had done more research, I just read where some guy insisted that they leave the copper wire for the old POTS phone service, and Verizon capitula...

  I got a call from my “night job” employer’s “wellness program” the other day.   I had never called their dial-a-nurse thing nor had I had any other contact with them. Then they called me out of the blue, (on a Sunday!) – Wanted to know if I had questions about Diabetes or any other health issues.   Naturally, I was all "I'm not interested" but somehow we got to talking and I did get some questions answered, but later I started getting a little paranoid about it.   All that is supposed to be between me and my doctor's janitor (I never get to see the actual Dr., it will be no surprise if I find he died in a Turkish prison in 2002) - Whatever happened to HIPPA (patient privacy) laws? I want to control who and why and how for looking at my fascinating medical history, not sure why I care.   They say the Wellness program is run by the insurance company, and since the company is footing the bill it seems reasonable that they ...

LED bicycle wheel lighting from MonkeyLectric; WHY didn’t they have these back when I was a kid? Very cool, and your parents would buy them if you gave them a good “safety” pitch. I sent away for some stripey clip-on straw things from a cereal-box promotion, but that’s only slightly better than a clothespin-and-playing-card setup. I'm getting this if I ever move to an urban environment where it's practical to ride a bike.

I keep hoping my son will learn to weld &/or solder… So he can crank out stuff like this for me to peddle on our website. We used to have a product called “Fork You!” which was exactly what you are thinking of, the dumb things sold like, well, “hotcakes”  

This BlogJet blog posting software has a few little glitches, but I think I will buy a license anyway. Just because it posts to Blogger so FAST. When I post directly at the blogger site it seems to take forever. Maybe they set it up that way to minimize traffic. Seems kinda dumb if so.

My Library at LibraryThing Putting a bunch of my books on LibraryThing.com, the recommendations they come up with (based on my reading habits and ratings) are just awesome. Click on one of the books displayed for more information, some of them I have even written mini-reviews. While Rome burns around me.

 Trying out that blog publishing software, “BlogJet” – I found it’s a LOT easier to use than the blogger.com interface. Unfortunately, it does not support blogger’s version of “tags” (They call them “labels”) – It has some third party system via Technoratty – not my cup of tea.  But then I thought, well, who needs tags anyway? So I dug up my “Custom Google Search Engine” and tweaked it.  So now, if you want to see, perhaps all the posts about Petey D. Dog, just use the green box with the orange border on your left, search for “Petey”. It also searches our webstore, so if you search for “fart” it will show blog posts about farts, and also links to our fart spray, fart “pull my finger” pen, Fart noises CD, etc. Isn’t technology grand?  Furthermore, I am hoping to also have a “tag cloud” that automatically displays popular search terms...

I have installed an interesting application - BlogJet . It's a cool Windows client for my blog tool (as well as for other tools). Get your copy here: http://blogjet.com  – Here is a gratuitous picture of my dog.  One slight problem I see, it is very easy to knock a picture out of the original perspective. Maybe they plan to fix that. Blogjet included this quote in the sample post; "Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination." -- Albert Einstein …Did he really say that? I mean Albert Einstein supposedly died in 1955. He would have been amazed by a Commodore 64.  Yes, this thing has those awful “smilies”. And I will use them profusely.  

I tell ya, I'm losing my mind. Set off for my night job, had to turn around, forgot my stupid ID badge. Like they don't know me. But those are the rules. Then I got to thinking, "Why haven't we sold any of those grab bags at That Restless Mouse? They're a great value at just $3.99! Teresa puts all kinds of stuff in those crazy bags.". As it turns out, apparently I forgot to put that item on the website. Since most of our customers are not mind readers, I reckon this accounts for the lack of sales. So, I reposted the "mystery grab bag", vowing that we would stuff them even more with great fun items. Click here to get yours today!

I am one of the most fickle people around when it comes to Internet sites, tools, and gadgets. I don't even need a reason, I'll jump ship in the blink of an eye. This is why I love this Firefox add-on for managing your bookmarks, Xmarks.com - I hardly use the regular bookmarks, but it puts a little "i" in the address bar, click it when you are at the website of one of the tools you like, and it will provide a short list of VERY similar sites- I know lots of social bookmarking sites have a feature like this, but the key difference is that somehow Xmarks hones in on sites that are very similar. Case in point, I have been using MyHq.com for a portable "one screen" most-used bookmark manager for months, (maybe years!) because I didn't see anything similar- but Xmarks turned me on to MyLinkVault.com - Haven't set it up yet but it looks like it does the same thing but the categories roll up, and it's much easier on the old retinas. They are both fr...

How so, Rat? The only difference is, Ziggy would bring flowers.

I didn't think much about this ad for a "Homeowner Chipper" until I realized to my horror, I'M A HOMEOWNER. And I don't mean that in a good way. It's the "self-feeding" feature that kind of scares me.

(Thanks XKCD.com ) I used to have Teriyaki every Wednesday at work and they got me started on adding "in bed" to fortune cookie fortunes. The "Except in bed" rule seems like it might be more fun. I was trying to think of some third option, any ideas?

I was farting around with the Blog settings, added some Googley advertising there, I was inspired because we just got a $100 check (For about two years of ads, but still, better than a poke in the eye!) - I lightened up the background a bit too, hopefully it's easier to read. I know the things I put on the internet look like where Andy Warhol threw up crayons, but it's not like I have a boss here, and only like twelve people a day manage to subject themselves to it. Maybe someday I will hire an eighth grader to redesign the thing, and then mow the lawn.

It appears that Amazon is selling ABC* gum! I would get the new stuff if I were you. * Already Been Chewed, in the parlance of Mrs. Anderson's Cromwell Park 4th grade class.

Confound it, I have the pre-Summer doldrums. Tell you what, I'm going to start marking stuff down! I'll stand on my head, my dog spot, etc. etc. First super markdown; The Cubes "Eve the sensitivity trainer" Like all good cube-dwellers, The Cubes get sensitivity training. Eve tries to educate the employees about harassment, sexism, probably diversity, and swine flu. Her posable plastic bod is 2.75" tall, she has a plastic pointer, visual aids and a 2.25" tall plastic easel. Now how much would you pay? Bitwise has these for almost $5 a set, I just marked ours down to $2.98 - While they last. Subject to prior sale, no rain checks. Game pieces do not actually talk. Click on tag "markdowns" below to see other markdowns as they occur, I'll try to delete these posts when items sell out. OH here's a link; Eve at a discount

Microsoft is coming out with a search engine with a different kind of algorithm which is apparently more oriented toward helping make decisions (As opposed to just looking up specific facts) They call it Bing.com - I'm sure the Crosby family is regretting having passed on that one. Wonder how long Microsoft has been sitting on that sweet and short domain name? It seems all the good domain names are taken or being sat on. This is how we wound up with TheRestlessMouse.com - It's ridiculously long. By the time people type in the domain name, they are sick of typing and too finger-pooped to order anything. But I digress. Hopefully BING* will take a large chunk out of the Google machine. They are getting to be a bit big for their britches. (* I believe that's an acronym; BING= Bill's Internet Navigation Gadget)

I think Swine Flu might be something to worry about in the fall, but statistically, for most people, not now. Although I read that Renton HS had a lot of absenteeism recently, but knowing Renton they were probably playing hookey. Or allergic to Finals. I was joking around at my other job a few weeks ago, and I told a a couple people on second shift to watch out because I thought I had swine flu, but I interrupted myself with a sneeze with a couple oinks at the end. They all picked up on that and since then whenever anyone on second shift sneezes, the others say, "OINK OINK!". One older lady says now her and her husband do that at home. I love that! Do you have any "running gags" that you do at your house? Here's one we have; Every year in Mid-December we drive around to look at Christmas lights, and whenever we spot a Nativity scene, it's a race between me and Teresa to exclaim, "What's E.T. doing in the Nativity Scene!" It's from an old Zi...

I just got a book in the mail that I ordered, "Right Brain Write On! - Overcoming writer's block and achieving your creative potential" Um, that's all I have to say.... (I haven't read the book yet)

Building a gate, learning a lot even at my advanced age. Some things I probably knew at one time but apparently forgot. 1. When buying lumber, check it for warp up/down AND side to side! Also for other defects such as huge knots in fenceboards. 2. If the stain can says stir often, STIR IT OFTEN. No one likes a fence that looks like it survived a fire. 3. Don't try to mix stains. It won't be pretty. 4. Don't enlist other people to help stain. Other people are sloppy, and they get mad if you mention it. 5. Using a circular saw, look at the blade, not the little guide thing in front. 6. Keep the dog out of the garage. Having the dog in there can only mean disaster. 7. Wear gloves, safety glasses, old clothes. Yes, you WILL get some on you. ... Those are only the lessons so far, I'm not even done yet.

We are planning to get rid of cable and TIVO and rely on the series of tubes and wires (Internet) for our TV entertainment. STEP ONE: Test to see if home network signal is sufficient I didn't want to buy anything just yet, so I revived my old XP computer by replacing the power supply. OK, that cost $32 - I should count that. Hooked it up in the dining room, swiped a Wireless Net G adapter from another computer (temporarily!) - and watched a few shows from various network sites. (Network sites have this annoying habit of forcing the viewer to download a special player to "enhance the experience" or whatever, but it doesn't seem to be spyware, so I guess it's ok.) Had mixed results on this, I forgot how noisy that computer was, and I didn't have a spare flat monitor, so I hooked it up to an old CRT monstrosity which took up half of the counter. We watched some TV station video and it played fine, but the image on that monitor was somewhat dark. I don...

I like to say "we" have decided to switch to 100% Internet TV, ditching Cable and TIVO, But this is a household with two middle-aged adults, and two young adults, one in school and one as a boarder (YES I charge rent!) The young people are cool with it, as young people are wont to be, but the Mrs. isn't too keen on the idea. So, part of the process will be to convince her that it's worth it to save $840 plus a year. Follow along with the tag below DITCH.CABLE to learn from my mistakes.

From the free part on Craigslist; Koolaid (North Bend) Reply to:sale-ntznx-118****592@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-&&-87, 4:45PM PDT I have 26 packets of Koolaid that have been sitting in my pantry, and quite frankly, I'm tired of looking at them. My boys don't drink the stuff any more, and I don't want to send it to the landfill. (7) Tropical Punch (6) Cherry (2) Grape (3) Black Cherry (6) Watermelon Cherry (1) Berry Blue (1) Orange So come and get it! ...Right, I'll drive all the way to North Bend to replenish my supply of flavored sugar-water. I don't think so. Now, throw in some "Goofy Grape" and I'll be there for that. But Kool-aid? I understand your reluctance to despoil the landfill with these packets of strange crystals, but it's more fun to take a handful to the dr. and drop a couple crystals in those little cups in the bathroom next to the phlebotomy lab.

覆面ねこ２。 More Videos & Games at Destructotech TV I can't get anything done with this sort of thing clogging the internet tubes.

Been putting "Box Lots" up over at our reseller's site, NoveltyTradingPost.com - Wanted to put some lots up on Ebay but they don't want to play nice with the auction posting system I use. Every time we decide to come back, we are reminded why we went away...

It was news to me; I just discovered a cool feature of Windows Vista; Hold down the windows key and tap the tab key repeatedly, to scroll through your open windows like a deck of cards, release when the one you want is on top. Neat!

My calender says today is "Earth Day" and also "Administrative Professional's Day" - which got me to worrying as I sometimes do; What if you had an Administrative Professional who refused to recycle? What then?

"Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success." -Brian Adams My cousin had some blacklight posters back in the 70's, one had a picture of Wiley Coyote sitting down to eat a nicely roasted bird, and the caption was "Beep, Beep, My Ass!!" As we all know, Wiley was the epitome of patience and persistence. Just for today, be the coyote. Now go peacefully and meditate upon this thought....

I was going through my old "computer emergency" suitcase and found the manual to my old monitor... I paid (lots of) money and happily lugged this thing home. Back in my day, monitors were huge and ugly. And we liked it that way.

I don't whether the editor is trying to be clever, or just not paying attention.

Money keeps getting "bigger". This guy wants more than I make in a month! Way more than a trillion! I would like to know if you make any other denominations for the funny money? If so, I would like to know about a One Hundred Googolplex Dollar Bill or just a One Googolplex Dollar Bill. If you have them, then how much for a 25 pack? Thank You. MY RESPONSE I will suggest this to our supplier. We get most of these novelty bills from a guy in Chicago who knows another guy in Chicago who apparently makes them in his basement. They have a more realistic feel than the ones we get elsewhere. I am kind of at his mercy, I had begged him to make some Sarah Palin money, could have sold tons of those. How much is a googolplex anyway? It sounds like a good name for an internet cafe.

I was driving around listening to KISM classic rock out of Bellingham, they had an ad for a new Ace hardware opening up in Blaine this very weekend! It renews my faith in small business tenacity to hear that. There will probably be free hot dogs and a marching band and all manner of specials and deals. If I had this weekend free, I would make the trek north just to pick up some duct tape, and uh, batteries, maybe get a new sprinkler.

Dr. in Canada was having an affair with a gal in his office. Soon enough, she told him she was pregnant; The dr paid for her to go to the US, live there until the baby came. He instructed her to send a card w/the word SAUERKRAUT on it when she gave birth. About nine months later, his wife said that he got a rather strange postcard in the mail. It read; SAUERKRAUT,SAUERKRAUT, SAUERKRAUT -- TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT! (I tried to "Twitter" that but I couldn't make it short enough) (Had to google to get the spelling of "SAUERKRAUT" YMMV)

I've noticed an uptick in hits on our "Supervisor Appreciation Day" page. Could it be that the real holiday, I think they call it "Boss's Day", is approaching? Who cares?

I subscribe to a free service called "Plinky" that suggests ( "prompts" ) subjects to blog about. Just got the latest: What's the worst way you've ever dumped or been dumped by someone? Breakups are never easy. How did you or your significant other make it even worse? Now why did they have to go a and dredge that up? No, I don't want to talk about it!

I was having problems opening individual emails in gmail, but I found help quickly here; How to Fix GMail Login Problems from Digital Inspiration For me it was as simple as using a different URL; https://mail.google.com/mail Thanks, Digital Inspiration!

How to Fix GMail Login Problems from Digital Inspiration

We are always desperate for traffic to our website. This is the online equivalent to having a guy in a gorilla suit waving at people by the highway.

A rather bossy sign in Thailand. It's at the entrance to a temple, hence the prohibition on dolly-dangling. From Gadling.com

... So I finally got the two sets of "Wonder Hangers" plus the soft hangers and the closet lights, total $19.99 which is reasonable, plus about $30 for shipping and handling, which is by no means reasonable. Contrary to the experience reported elsewhere on the Internet, the quality is good, the hangers are thick plastic and I can't imagine them breaking under normal use. However, in practice we found that you don't save much closet space, they use almost as much room as the same number of items hung on regular hangers. The closet lights are of good quality and very bright. I got them in about three weeks, the ad said to allow six, so I can't complain there. Probably what gets people all riled up about these, is the ridiculous S&H charge. It put me off of buying from TV ads, and when buying items online, from now on I won't click submit order unless I see the actual total first. Buyer beware. Hopefully there will be a class action suit that resu...

Great human interest story picked up by the Seattle P-I this morning, about two brothers exchanging the same birthday card since 1973. The card has a cartoon of a masked bandit on a motorcycle with the caption, "The Phantom Cheapo strikes again!" The card is getting full now, and it's all taped up. These days a person could go one better and send an email card instead. Now that's cheap!

I saw a pickup truck on it's side at milepost 205. A semi passed me just then and denied me the rubbernecking. Those horse pills for the diabetes are already working; normally I get thirsty as all get out toward the end of the shift, and dry mouth. Not so today. When I got home Petey grabbed a squeaky toy and started galloping all over the house with it. Who put a nickel in his jukebox?

Petey likes to pick up this green tennis ball that has been kicking around the Arlington airport trail for weeks, then I think it starts to taste icky and he drops it. I hope he doesn't get dog mono or something. I bought him his very own green tennis ball and he is completely uninterested. Go figure.

I was looking at one of those newspaper comment threads, and I had to laugh when I read this about Wal*Mart. It's funny because it's true! "Walmart is one store I will never go in to again. Every time I have ever been in one, the employees and customers all seem to be like zombies. Slow moving, and at appears that someone has taken their brains out and eaten them. I don't like it."

In the old days, people often had to tell a family court judge exactly what is wrong before a divorce would be granted, and the circumstances of the split would affect the division of assets to some degree, one would suppose. Hence the entertainment value of the courtroom show "Divorce Court". People arguing over phone bills on Judge Judy just doesn't do it for me. With today's no fault divorce laws, there is no good reason to keep track of every irksome thing. For instance, the judge would not want to hear about when we are sitting up reading in bed, Teresa's annoying habit of chuckling over "Life in These United States" or whatever, it kind of takes the edge of of the Dean Koontz novel I am reading. That's all right, I cut the last page out of the bodice-ripper she is reading.

Still working graveyard shift... I sleep some during the day, but not a lot, and fitfully, like this guy...

I wanted so bad to start a sofaking.com website with pictures of people sitting on various couches. Or maybe cats or dogs sitting on couches. Or rather sofas. Each would say "This sofa isn't just good, it's sofaking good! Maybe with a little Sofa King royal logo. I'm sure it would have been a huge hit, stupidity + cats + Internet= COMEDY GOLD Unfortunately someone is camping on the domain name, and I don't think it works with a dash in it.

I wish I WISH we had googled "Wonder Hanger Rip Off" or some variation of that before buying some online - Total "double deal" order was supposed to be $19.99 plus S&H - Which turned out to be over $30 for a total of $51.78 If I had only looked I would have seen scores of complaints on the poor quality, excessive shipping, unauthorized credit card charges, and more! Being online retailers ourselves, I am ashamed and saddened by their thievery. I hope anyone reading this will spread the word, I am going to report it to the state attorney general and to whatever carrier brings it (If it even shows up) It's time for this hanger ripoff to come out of closet!

I got the new 2009 version of Quicken, I don't know where I got the idea that they would have made it more svelte, and it wouldn't have that annoying habit of reserving a big rectangle for the quicken logo in the middle of the screen, preventing me from doing other computer stuff while waiting (and waiting) for it to load. I mean, they could have made it a thing on the side instead, at the very least. Tried to sell the wife on a poor man's multi-monitor setup, which involves getting an old laptop do do the easy stuff on the same desk, but unfortunately she thought of an even cheaper version of that idea, which involves playing solitaire on the computer desk with a real deck of cards. Oh well, at least I get to cheat that way.

I'm kind of torn on this new "Creamsicle" design on the website here... It looks nice and somewhat tasty, but does it psychologically prepare you to purchase novelty items today? Or are you more inclined to tiptoe into the kitchen and eat a big bowl of orange sherbet with a wooden spoon? I would do that right now, but the stupid dog would wake up, click around in the kitchen to alert the whole house. And another thing... Why is Sherbet usually pronounced "SherBERT"? Am I saying it wrong?

Just got a note from Swaptree, a DVD/book trading service... I tried them months or years ago, but doggone it, they have a system that makes you print the postage online, and it nags the hell out of you automatically... We are on Bookmooch (book trading site) and we generally mail books out pronto, but I don't need a nudge from big brother. It's a slick looking site, but they need to lighten up a bit before people will start posting zillions of items. I hope they take a page from Bookmooch's playbook and allow for people who also have a life. Often we request books there wherein the sender can't send it for a week or two, and once in a while they don't send it at all for whatever reason. We tell bookmooch and they give us our point back. It's not the end of the world! I guess what I am saying... Take a chill pill, Swaptree!

You know, this would almost be a believable story until she went to South Africa. People rip off the elderly all the time, I guess they figure to beat the other evil offspring to the inheritance. Very sad if true. I suspect my parents are going to give anything left to a home for orphaned three-legged mangy dogs, with a separate allotment to the Postal Carrier's Benevolent Dogbite Fund, just to be fair. And why not. Here's that spam; Dear Friend, My name is Mrs Sarah Henderson am 75yrs old of age, i stay in new york city, USA. I am an enterpreneur, I have companies, stocks and shares in various banks in the world. I spent all my life on investments and coporate businesses. I lost my husband and two adult children, in a fatal accident that occured in November 5th 2003. I lived a reckless high society life without God.. I dont give and care about people. later in the year 2004 Febuary i was sent a letter for medical check up, As my personal Doctor confirmed that i had a lung ...

We finally had a google page rank of 1 for NoveltyTradingPost.com, now I see it has gone away. I have a few theories about what I may have done to cause them to punish this site, but you know what Google? You and I are through. I have a day job, I don't have to worry about making money on the novelty business, it's basically a hobby and a learning experience anyway. Getting tired of you and your little unexplained snits. Jeeves will show you the door.

I don't understand why some web stores pay to advertise keywords, but then make it hard for the customer to buy. For instance, "Magnetic dog Note Pad". I click the link (They pay maybe a quarter or fifty cents right there?) Then I am taken to a page with dog note pads, starting with Akita, but I am looking for West Highland White Terriers - guess what page Westie note pads are on? I don't know, it only shows five. So I click "show all" and wait. Now, this does not "whet my appetite", it's just annoying. Ultimately, I won't pay $19 and shipping, maybe sales tax, for this item, they don't even look like Westies, at least not like the one that is sleeping under my desk. Even still, A page with tiny pictures in an index might have worked better? We need some sort of psychic google; and don't think they aren't feverishly working on that.

Welcome to our new feature, "Ask a guy who sells fake vomit on the Internet" Dear guy who sells fake vomit on the internet, I would like to get a luxury item, something really "big ticket", for my wife on her birthday. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of bread. Can you help? - Stumped in Stanwood Dear stumped, Of course I can help! I have four cases of samples right here, and a trunk o'junk in my car! I have the perfect thing, A Thirty Eight Foot Yacht! It's got 38 little feet, get it? She'll love it! Did you know laughter is an aphrodesiac? I guess it depends on what she's laughing at! (nudge, nudge)

I see Novelty Trading Post is #1 on the google search for "Lunchtime Spinner" However- I wonder if being #1 is a good idea - When I search for something at Google, I usually scroll down a little bit - For some reason I always suspect that the top few positions were outfits that were obsessed with SEO and more specifically, Google positioning... So they probably don't have their eye on the ball, which is great service and customer satisfaction.. What do you think? Discuss.

ARE YOU IN CONTROL? Prove for yourself, whether you are in control of your right foot. It's worth a try... This is too funny! It works!! While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction..... anticlockwise... You will also be shunned by your co-workers. (and I mean that in a good way)

It really pays to look at the commentws on Amazon book ads. I was on Bookmooch, and was about to mooch: Your Attitude is Showing: A Primer on Human Relations [NetEffect Series] Until I read this review... If they are using this book to teach in college, it sounds kind of scary... 2.0 out of 5 stars Authors' attitudes are showing..., July 12, 2006 By Ben Franklin - See all my reviews The slant of this book is hard to ignore. It emphasizes the importance of "go along to get along" over almost all else. In the battle between individuals and big companies for who controls individual will, who owns the knowledge in an individual's head, and how much of an individual's life belongs to the organization, "Your Attitude is Showing" is a white flag for anyone with an independant mind. The authors' arguments for why a person should (must) set aside self and individuality for the good of the company and wishes of the management are flawed. It assumes that ...

I'm reading a book "Give Them the Pickle!" By Bob Farrrell... The guy that founded Farrell's Ice Cream Parlors. I would have liked to meet that guy. It's too bad he sold it to Marriott, he made his money for sure, but they ruined it by taking away the "Celebration Restaurant" aspect. Anyway... When they first started, he encouraged the girls who waited the tables to go in the freezer and scream their heads off, if they needed to... He says they always came out with a smile. We have a freezer where I work, but it's a chest freezer for certain rivets. You climb in that thing and you don't come out. Besides, I think it's against OSHA regulations to scream in the freezer. I was looking this book up at Amazon, It also came up with "If they Ask for a hand, just give 'em the finger". The banks tried that strategy, look where it got them.

Trying out the MySpace thing, although some of the pages there sort of scare me... I guess if Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers And Weird Al hang out there, it's mainstream... But what concerns me is that so many people have so much time on their hands. http://www.myspace.com/everybodyjustchillout

I know we get excited about the dumbest little things... Teresa ordered new business cards less than 48 hours ago, and VistaPrint's website already shows them as "shipped". This is what she came up with, there is a 2009 calendar on the back, heavy glossy... Oh be honest, everybody loves new business cards.

I love jokes that I can tell as if they happened to me. The problem now is, whenever I start to relate ANY story, my friends and coworkers will fold their arms and smirk… Anyway, I enjoyed this one. Hope you will too; A guy is on an elevator and a blonde gets on. She smiles and says “T.G.I.F.”! He looks at her and says “S.H.I.T.” She shakes her head no, and says, “No, I said T.G.I.F.!!” He repeats, “S.H.I.T.” Now the blonde is frustrated, she says, “T.G.I.F. – It means, Thank God It’s Friday!” He replies, “I know what it means. S.H.I.T. means “Sorry Honey, It’s Thursday.”

Our Westie is getting up there in years and starting next Thursday, will require Vasopressin (?) shots because apparently Our vet's son needs bail money again Petey has a relatively rare disease that causes him to either not produce this particular chemical, or causes his kidneys to ignore it (We have to narrow that down still) So, I was looking at the dog, and trying to come up with a way to justify the additional expense in case I am ever faced with trying to obtain needs-based funding for something (Such as when I applied for a government-funded educational benefit years ago, they want to see your household budget) But I digress. Besides the primary duties of a Westie, being cute and barking at nothing in particular; * Petey also barks at animals and "bad guys" on the TV, thus snapping us out of our boob tube induced stupor to go DO something. * Petey insists on going for a leash walk on any day when it's not raining, or at least not raining very hard. This invol...