NEVER JET HOT

Took my ancient 91 Explorer to the Emissions check station, it still passed, even after almost 300 thousand miles. The guy seemed like he thought I should be so very proud, maybe give an acceptance speech, but I wanted to get out of there in case it decided to belch some smoke ala "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". You never know with these older cars. Seems unfair that my sister in a more rural part of the state does not have to get emissions checked to get vehicle tabs. She is fond of driving $500 Vista Cruisers and other land yachts that her husband picks up on Ebay or at auction, or maybe the good old Little Nickel Ads. They usually have rodents living in the glove box, lost the key you can start it with a nail- You know what I mean. I'm just jealous because I don't have the negotiating skills and I'm a sucker for a giant purple gorilla.

When did I get so lazy that I would allow Jiffy Lube to replace my brake light bulb? Just because it's hot out? I'm a native lesser seattleite, if the clouds part it's too warm for me, let alone pushing eighty degrees! I'm liable to change into shorts... and nobody wants to see that! Besides, I would stick to the car seat, ick. I appeal to the scientific community to find the formula for running cars on water. You know the formula is out there, but every time some shadetree mechanic discovers the secret, the oil people buy his silence with cash or a bullet. (Or so I've heard)