NEVER JET HOT

Anyone see the Space Needle New Year's Fireworks travesty? The whole thing is set to music using a computer program, but the computer froze up. They rebooted it twice, finally gave up and some guy set the fireworks off manually, but there was no grace or beauty to that, it looked like the Needle was being attacked by really fancy terrorists. The music ran out early, and there were no "oooohs" or "aaahs"... just an uncomfortable silence. They cut to the reporters up in the needle during the pause, and not knowing what else to do, the guy reporter gave the girl reporter a passionate kiss to break the tension I guess. That's why they get paid the big bucks, they can work under pressure.

I think I know why everyone around here was cranky yesterday... It's all that FOOD. Fudge. Those sausage and cheese things. ALMOND ROCA. Red and green MM's. The other fudge with the peanut butter. And where does Teresa stop to pick up lunch? TERIYAKI. It's a wonder we're not all writhing on the floor in gastronomical agony.

THANKSGIVING The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair it ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom then splattered all over the kitchen completely obscuring the room it stuck to the walls and the windows it totally coated the floor there was turkey attached to the ceiling where there'd never been turkey before it blanketed every appliance it smeared every saucer and bowl there wasn't a way I could stop it that turkey was out of control I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure and thought with chagrin as I mopped that I'd never again stuff a turkey with popcorn that hadn't been popped.

We already have one of our customers winning a costume contest using one of our products- T.L. of Lincoln, Nebraska won a prize for funniest costume... ... She's an over-the-top dentist, with one of our Giant Tooth Brushes as a prop. Although I suspect the household cordless drill in the other pocket may have been what sealed the deal.

I had not remembered about Columbus Day* until I tried to print postage for Monday ships and stamps.com pushed it up to Tuesday. I remember when I was a kid, all the stores would remind you by having big Columbus Day sales ("Ladies Underwear half off for Columbus!" OK, I made that one up) but not so much anymore. I understand it's a real big deal back east. They love him in Sheboygan. Apparently there are many who don't like him because he started the whole colonization thing. But hey look, if it wasn't him, it would have been someone else. Eventually an airplane capable of going to the edge of the world would have been invented, anyway. At any rate, we can't ship anything until Tuesday morning. I hope this doesn't put a crimp in anyone's toothpaste. * Columbus Day, not "Columbo" day, whereupon everyone wears a raincoat and asks lots of questions

How do you like our, umm, seasonal logo? I wanted something that would subconsciously remind you folks, it's getting to be that time of year, without getting all pre-halloween Christmassy like at the department stores already. Hey, I have an excuse, mail order takes a little longer to get to your house. At least WE aren't shoving a Christmas Tree down your throat until you choke on the tinsel.

I attribute the dearth of new cologne, BBQ accessories, and/or "Number One Dad!" T-shirts for me on this Father's Day to the fact that, about ten years ago, I muttered something about Mother's Day being a "Hallmark™ Holiday" - this is probably some sort of roundabout retribution. I did get a good breakfast though, not the usual prison loaf either. I got my dad a year's subscription to The Jethro Gazette, (more on that later) of course my sister one-upped me and got him Old Time Radio shows on CD's - Who knew he likes Amos and Andy? I didn't mention the fact that you can download all that stuff for free now, the copyrights are expired, and so are the Rinso White coupons. I prefer Fibber McGee and Molly myself, their closet is like my garage. Of course, as the CEO (Chief Envelope Opener) here at TheRestlessMouse.com, my schedule is pretty full (Did you know they are talking about Rosie O'Donnell hosting The Price is Right? That doesn't se...

Over at the Everett's MyFamily.com site, my sisters are presenting competing "Peanut Butter Ball" recipes. To promote family harmony, I casually suggested that they each send me some, and blindfolded like in the soda pop commercials, I would declare a superior recipe based on taste, texture, and overall peanut butteriness. Hoo boy, that didn't go over well with the Mrs. - Apparently this suggestion is tantamount to declaring her peanut butter balls to be inferior. I did offer to allow her to enter the competition, but I would need a different independent third party to set it up. Maybe I should just bag it and fill up on Chex mix, huh?