My wife thinks she's a...
Combines bartender and psychiatrist jokes... Guy telling his bartender his troubles; "My wife thinks she's a pretzel!" Bartender sez, "Did you take her to a psychiatrist?" "Yeah... he says she's twisted." OR "My wife thinks she's a piano!" Bartender sez, "Did you take her to a psychiatrist?" "Are you kidding? Do you know how much it costs to move a piano??"