NEVER JET HOT

The Hoverscooter; "To accelerate you lean back while gripping the handlebar" - What do you grip when you DON'T want to accelerate? It takes 20 feet to stop the thing! I suspect most people using this thing spend much of the time sitting on the pavement gripping their heads and wondering what happened. I guess if you can slap down 17 grand for this goofy thing, you can hire people to chase you with big pillows or something. (From Hammacher.com - used here for parody and education.)

In light of recent local, national, and global events, we have considered discontinuing certain products that shoot, hurl, fling, toss, chuck, or otherwise propel various objects, such as miniature cats, pigs, ducks, and supervisors, in addition to rubber bands and other common projectiles. However we believe that workplace stress is reduced by playing with these kinds of devices, as well as other cubicle toys we sell, The Cubes miniature office sets allow the user to act out various workplace scenarios, and the positive messages smiley 8 ball, financial advisor ball, and other 8-ball toys serve to unstick the mind. Not to mention the obvious benefits of our Martian Squeeze Toy. All in all, we believe the products we sell tend to improve morale and bring a little sunshine into the dark corners of the massive institutions where we work and learn. There was some discussion about these events at the warehouse I moonlight at in the evenings, and we concluded that it demonstrated the ...