Ask a guy who sells fake vomit on the Internet #1

Welcome to our new feature,

"Ask a guy who sells fake vomit on the Internet"



Dear guy who sells fake vomit on the internet,

I would like to get a luxury item, something really "big ticket", for my wife on her birthday. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of bread. Can you help?

- Stumped in Stanwood



Dear stumped,
Of course I can help! I have four cases of samples right here, and a trunk o'junk in my car! I have the perfect thing, A Thirty Eight Foot Yacht! It's got 38 little feet, get it? She'll love it! Did you know laughter is an aphrodesiac? I guess it depends on what she's laughing at! (nudge, nudge)

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