NEVER JET HOT

The Humongous Steel Pig Mascot is for sale on Craigslist... There are so MANY things you can do with a giant steel pig, but my wife shoots down EVERY SINGLE ONE. And then she wonders why I'm not rich. How can I get rich when all of my grandiose endeavors are blocked at every turn?

Lois lane comic on ebay by somebody I don't even know I'm disinclined to pay 13 bucks for a ten cent comic book, but this one is kind of funny, I like to think Superman has a dark side just like captain Kirk... Making Lois ride in that thing is just humiliating... LOL Lois Lane is super pissed... Looks like her rival Lana is already on her tiny cellphone telling everyone.

Fiber is good for you

Some callers surely wonder why it always takes us about 8 rings to answer the phone here at the Restless Mouse Novelty Company. You see, our business line is routed to an old phone with a real bell in it, and it's LOUD SHRILL and OBNOXIOUS. I have a night job, so when people call mid-morning, we are still drinking coffee, coughing and scratching ourselves. Naturally when the phone rings we are all "CRAP! Already? Stupid phone!!" Then we laugh at our crappy customer service attitudes. After that, it takes maybe two more rings to compose oneself, another to cough some more (And nobody even smokes here!)... Only then are we ready to answer the phone in a pleasant and professional manner. So, bear with us.

We are mailing our ballots back today, or soon anyway- Wasn't going to but I want to vote NO on a roads and transit tax- That's supposed to be what all the gas tax was for. Anyway, it's mainly to widen certain roads to benefit developers and bring in EVEN MORE people. If it was just for transit I might have considered it. They will probably just tax & build whatever they want anyway, that's what they usually do. All you who live in more enlightened states or less populated areas may commence feeling smug now.

It was probably only a 6 and a half foot python. The media likes to exaggerate.

With Election Day less than three weeks away, Venus Velazquez hopes voters will look past her Wednesday night drunken-driving arrest as they cast ballots in the intense, sometimes bruising contest for an open seat on the City Council. (Seattle P-I) Yeah, but you know what? I don't think I want to dive into the cesspool known as the "voting booth" anymore. Been voting for 25 years, and nothing good has come out of that.

We already have one of our customers winning a costume contest using one of our products- T.L. of Lincoln, Nebraska won a prize for funniest costume... ... She's an over-the-top dentist, with one of our Giant Tooth Brushes as a prop. Although I suspect the household cordless drill in the other pocket may have been what sealed the deal.

I hope whoever is trying to call us the last day or two doesn't hate us forever- It seems that the incoming calls just aren't getting through, I see some calls on the log but the phone number is cut off! And, no name of course. Anyway, whoever you are, if you read this- please LEAVE A MESSAGE or send an email, so I can find out what it is that prompts you to try so hard to reach us. ITS TOO BAD NO MORE TELEGRAMS STOP BUT ANYWAY IT WOULD BE LIKE A NICKEL A WORD STOP I WOULD GO BROKE STOP BECAUSE I NEVER STOP STOP TALKING STOP

Is there nothing new under the sun? Apparently my favorite old sitcom, Green Acres, was originally just a side bit on Lucille Ball's radio show. This from the OTR.COM feed; GRANBY'S GREEN ACRES, situation comedy. Broadcast History: July 3 - August 21, 1950, CBS. 30m, Mondays at 9:30. Cast: Gale Gordon and Bea Benaderet as John and Martha Granby, ex-bank teller and wife who moved to the country to become farmers. Louise... GRANBY'S GREEN ACRES, situation comedy. Broadcast History: July 3 - August 21, 1950, CBS. 30m, Mondays at 9:30. Cast: Gale Gordon and Bea Benaderet as John and Martha Granby, ex-bank teller and wife who moved to the country to become farmers. Louise Erickson as Janice, their daughter. Parley Baer as Eb, the hired hand. Announcer: Bob LeMond Music: Opie Cates Writer-Producer-Director: Jay Sommers. Granby's Green Acres grew out of characters played by Gale Gordon and Bea Benaderet on the Lucille Ball series My Favorite Husband. The names were changed, b...

I had not remembered about Columbus Day* until I tried to print postage for Monday ships and stamps.com pushed it up to Tuesday. I remember when I was a kid, all the stores would remind you by having big Columbus Day sales ("Ladies Underwear half off for Columbus!" OK, I made that one up) but not so much anymore. I understand it's a real big deal back east. They love him in Sheboygan. Apparently there are many who don't like him because he started the whole colonization thing. But hey look, if it wasn't him, it would have been someone else. Eventually an airplane capable of going to the edge of the world would have been invented, anyway. At any rate, we can't ship anything until Tuesday morning. I hope this doesn't put a crimp in anyone's toothpaste. * Columbus Day, not "Columbo" day, whereupon everyone wears a raincoat and asks lots of questions

How do you like our, umm, seasonal logo? I wanted something that would subconsciously remind you folks, it's getting to be that time of year, without getting all pre-halloween Christmassy like at the department stores already. Hey, I have an excuse, mail order takes a little longer to get to your house. At least WE aren't shoving a Christmas Tree down your throat until you choke on the tinsel.

This is an odd juxtaposition. Do ya think they did it on purpose?

Have you noticed the WWW is a big mess? Good grief, Al Gore what have you wrought? It's good to secure funding for things, but be a little choosier next time. (EDITORS NOTE: If these blog posts make even less sense than before, it's probably because I have a new job that's graveyard shift, and I also have a Westie dog. It's not a good combination. Last week, two UPS trucks decided to back up to each other and do a package transfer of some sort. I thought the dog was going to have a heart attack! He was repeatedly jumping 5 feet straight up while barking and trying to push the door open from the wrong side. That sort of thing is not conducive to a good night's sleep.)