Old Farmer & Heloise fight over houseplants.

A cold and moist April fills the cellar and fattens the cow. (Old Farmer's Almanac)

This isn't useful information for the modern suburban city dweller. I don't even have a cellar, and we get meat and dairy products at the Safeway.

I was awakened in the shank of the night by fingers running up my spine, which is not what you might expect. I said "WHAT are you doing?" and Teresa mumbled something (in her sleep) about looking for paper towels. I'm glad I was facing away, if I had been turned over facing her, she might have dreamed my gaping snoring maw was a used-kleenex receptacle.

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