NEVER JET HOT

We have been following this car wreck of a primary election process with varying degrees of interest, surprise, amusement and dread. When we bought the remaining stock from Lakeside Novelty, we inherited tons of these political bills. Hence I have sort of an interest in Hillary getting the democratic nomination, just so we can keep peddling this silly fake money. I know, I am a sad and pathetic little man, and you pity me. Anyway, I was sort of pleased to see that the oddsmakers are in my corner; Super Tuesday Political Betting Odds Online gambling website Bodog Life has Hillary Clinton a big -400 favorite to receive win the majority of primaries on Super Tuesday among Democrats. Senator Barack Obama is most certainly the underdog here paying out $2.50 for every $1.00 bet should he win more than Hillary. John Edwards bowed out of the race early on Wednesday following the Florida Primary. JUST THE SAME - We have all of this political money on sale DIRT CHEAP - $1.99 for each pad of 25 -...

WASHINGTON VOTERS FORCED TO LIE OR STAY HOME "Primary voters will have to pick one party's ballot and sign an oath that they consider themselves a member of that party and haven't attended the other party's caucus." ... Maybe I want to vote FOR a member of a particular party as a NO VOTE on another candidate of that party? And it just so happens that I do not consider myself a member of any particular political entity, least of all the donkey or the elephant. Do I have to LIE to participate? Now my understanding is that we have a caucus and then a primary vote. The Republicans are splitting the results as far as assigning delegates; Democrats are completely IGNORING the results of the primary vote. It seems to me that the caucus consists of the most dogged political junkies and assorted other nutjobs. Apparently, for the most part nationally, THEY get to decide which candidate from each party wins the swimsuit competition, and proceeds to the big dog and pony...

WEATHERMAN SAYS: North Puget Sound supposed to get up to 2 inches of snow tonight. State patrol advises motorists to keep food, water, clothes in their vehicles "in case they get stranded". Gunna get stranded in TWO INCHES of snow?? We can hear New Yorkers laughing from here.

It warms the cockles of my heart that our "Temporary Marriage" certificates sold out long before Temporary Divorce certificates . Now I have them marked down, but maybe people realize that the "temporary divorce" might cost a lot more than 49 cents...

From our local "Freecycle" list; it's an endless source of amusement. I just woke up, and at first I thought a GUY wrote this, or maybe it is so, which would bring shame to all of the male gender; HELP! I was just asked to be in my girlfriends wedding. Need to lose weight ASAP. Anyone have any weights, rowing machine, stairmaster, or any equiptment that is gathering dust or being used as an extra clothes hanger? I could really put to good use. Thank you - I only have 3 months! EEK!! ... EEK indeed. So, what is she going to do "in" her girlfriend's wedding? Sheesh, nobody's going to be looking at you, it's your girlfriend's big day. Just go and don't whine about the ugly bridesmaid dresses. And hope nobody recognizes you from the bachelor party. (Three weeks into the new year does seem the ideal time to obtain cast-off like-new exercise equipment, half empty boxes of nicotine patches, and other personal torture devices)

Gee, if I am going to post something about every little inventory change, why it's a fool time job. Here we have the Life's a gas cartoon fart book back in stock by unpopular demand (Morbid curiousity drives sales). PS Please don't do that in here; (It attracts flies)

The handy prop cigars are back in stock. The thing where you have to blow into rather than light and inhale takes a bit of getting used to for an ex-smoker like myself, but they do look exactly like a real cigar and they will produce a smoke effect if you blow into them. I found that if you poke some holes around on the last inch or so it produces more smoke more easily. Also you can chop it, although you lose the fake ash (I suppose you could reattach it somehow) it still produces smoke. This would be great for the opening scene of "The Odd Couple" if you want to have the TV thing where Oscar finds a used stogie in the street.