NEVER JET HOT

Welcome to our new feature, "Ask a guy who sells fake vomit on the Internet" Dear guy who sells fake vomit on the internet, I would like to get a luxury item, something really "big ticket", for my wife on her birthday. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of bread. Can you help? - Stumped in Stanwood Dear stumped, Of course I can help! I have four cases of samples right here, and a trunk o'junk in my car! I have the perfect thing, A Thirty Eight Foot Yacht! It's got 38 little feet, get it? She'll love it! Did you know laughter is an aphrodesiac? I guess it depends on what she's laughing at! (nudge, nudge)

I see Novelty Trading Post is #1 on the google search for "Lunchtime Spinner" However- I wonder if being #1 is a good idea - When I search for something at Google, I usually scroll down a little bit - For some reason I always suspect that the top few positions were outfits that were obsessed with SEO and more specifically, Google positioning... So they probably don't have their eye on the ball, which is great service and customer satisfaction.. What do you think? Discuss.

ARE YOU IN CONTROL? Prove for yourself, whether you are in control of your right foot. It's worth a try... This is too funny! It works!! While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction..... anticlockwise... You will also be shunned by your co-workers. (and I mean that in a good way)

It really pays to look at the commentws on Amazon book ads. I was on Bookmooch, and was about to mooch: Your Attitude is Showing: A Primer on Human Relations [NetEffect Series] Until I read this review... If they are using this book to teach in college, it sounds kind of scary... 2.0 out of 5 stars Authors' attitudes are showing..., July 12, 2006 By Ben Franklin - See all my reviews The slant of this book is hard to ignore. It emphasizes the importance of "go along to get along" over almost all else. In the battle between individuals and big companies for who controls individual will, who owns the knowledge in an individual's head, and how much of an individual's life belongs to the organization, "Your Attitude is Showing" is a white flag for anyone with an independant mind. The authors' arguments for why a person should (must) set aside self and individuality for the good of the company and wishes of the management are flawed. It assumes that ...

I'm reading a book "Give Them the Pickle!" By Bob Farrrell... The guy that founded Farrell's Ice Cream Parlors. I would have liked to meet that guy. It's too bad he sold it to Marriott, he made his money for sure, but they ruined it by taking away the "Celebration Restaurant" aspect. Anyway... When they first started, he encouraged the girls who waited the tables to go in the freezer and scream their heads off, if they needed to... He says they always came out with a smile. We have a freezer where I work, but it's a chest freezer for certain rivets. You climb in that thing and you don't come out. Besides, I think it's against OSHA regulations to scream in the freezer. I was looking this book up at Amazon, It also came up with "If they Ask for a hand, just give 'em the finger". The banks tried that strategy, look where it got them.

Trying out the MySpace thing, although some of the pages there sort of scare me... I guess if Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers And Weird Al hang out there, it's mainstream... But what concerns me is that so many people have so much time on their hands. http://www.myspace.com/everybodyjustchillout

I know we get excited about the dumbest little things... Teresa ordered new business cards less than 48 hours ago, and VistaPrint's website already shows them as "shipped". This is what she came up with, there is a 2009 calendar on the back, heavy glossy... Oh be honest, everybody loves new business cards.

I love jokes that I can tell as if they happened to me. The problem now is, whenever I start to relate ANY story, my friends and coworkers will fold their arms and smirk… Anyway, I enjoyed this one. Hope you will too; A guy is on an elevator and a blonde gets on. She smiles and says “T.G.I.F.”! He looks at her and says “S.H.I.T.” She shakes her head no, and says, “No, I said T.G.I.F.!!” He repeats, “S.H.I.T.” Now the blonde is frustrated, she says, “T.G.I.F. – It means, Thank God It’s Friday!” He replies, “I know what it means. S.H.I.T. means “Sorry Honey, It’s Thursday.”

Our Westie is getting up there in years and starting next Thursday, will require Vasopressin (?) shots because apparently Our vet's son needs bail money again Petey has a relatively rare disease that causes him to either not produce this particular chemical, or causes his kidneys to ignore it (We have to narrow that down still) So, I was looking at the dog, and trying to come up with a way to justify the additional expense in case I am ever faced with trying to obtain needs-based funding for something (Such as when I applied for a government-funded educational benefit years ago, they want to see your household budget) But I digress. Besides the primary duties of a Westie, being cute and barking at nothing in particular; * Petey also barks at animals and "bad guys" on the TV, thus snapping us out of our boob tube induced stupor to go DO something. * Petey insists on going for a leash walk on any day when it's not raining, or at least not raining very hard. This invol...