NEVER JET HOT

Igoogle's "points to ponder" widget just stopped me in my tracks. Why DOESN'T Tarzan have a beard??

NORMALLY I don't post "family" stuff here; Leave us face it, if you don't know our family, it's like watching someone else's home movies of their trip to see the World's Largest Ball of Rubber Bands. Today I must break that rule. I was tickled to discover that daughter Daphne and her friends found a modern-day version of one of those "photo booths". Don't they look like they're having an absolute blast?

From a Bob Newhart Wiki page; "Whenever Bob Newhart was asked whom he admired the most as a comedian, he never hesitated with his somewhat surprising answer: Richard Pryor. Upon Pryor's death in 2005, Newhart paid tribute by calling him "the seminal comedian of the last 50 years."

This joke cracked me up, reminds me of a boss I once had... Johnson, who always shows up for work on time, comes in an hour late, his clothes a mess, all scratched up, his eyeglasses bent. "What happened to you?" his boss asks. "I fell down two flights of stairs." "That took you a whole hour??"

I have a great cell plan, 300 minutes, free data, free nights/weekends, the weak spot is that text messages are ten cents each. Now, I just don't use text messaging, my thumbs are only suited for hitchhiking, or operating the remote. Unfortunately, I suspect that the young lady that had my cellphone number before me DID use text messages. Or rather, her, ummm, suitors did. I get a GOOD MORNING message from some dude most mornings. I told him that he had the wrong number, but he cryptically replied "I AM SANTA CLAUS". This threw me for a loop... What if he REALLY IS Santa? My general policy is not to anger a guy who owns flying reindeer. But I digress. Today I got a 7am Saturday wake-up text message. I stared at it bleary-eyed for a moment, then burst out laughing. For once it might be worth a dime. Here's the sort of nasty joke my misguided stalker sent today; "Summer's Eve has a new douche made from Marijuana, deodorant, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. It l...

I just unsubscribed from the "lockergnome" mailing list, it's sort of a semi-geek email newsletter that sometimes has interesting stories relating to the world of computers, just the other day I got a great Windows add-on program for half off too. Unfortunately, lately he has been filling it with links attacking the candidate he does not want to be president. (Doesn't matter which one; I would feel the same either way.) So I unsubscribed, at least for the time being. I don't understand why people feel the need to shove their political views down each other's throats. While we sell parody bills of a political nature, they represent both sides of the aisle when I can keep them in stock. But I don't profess to a preference. The Restless Mouse is all about lighten up and have fun.

We interrupt your steady diet of gloom and doom to bring you... PIRATES! Be sure to check out Dress Like A Pirate.com for more swashbuckling fun like that.

Aristotle says; Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. But, is he serious? I think these philosophers just liked to make up BS to impress the ladies. And that statement bears serious examination.

More adventures from my sister's house... She lives "out in the sticks"... We have a stupid bat that got in here tonight so Pat and Stephen have been trying to get it. It's been hanging out mostly way up on the wall above the couch, seems to be laughing at Pat's efforts to throw doggie toys at it to get it to fly around and have Stephen try to hit it with a broom. What was creepy was that Pat and I were in the living room tonight and we heard it squeaking, seemed to be on the outside of the upper window and then the squeaking got louder and it came through a space behind the trim of that window. I was so wanting to get some sleep tonight. I'm going to go to the garage and see if I can find the net that we had around here somewhere. Love, Cheryl

Seems I only get "page one" google results for terms I can't use. Because of the random nature of this "blog", we wound up #4 for the Washington state city of "Hoquim" (Yeah I spelled it wrong.) Maybe I should have discussed "Seqium"? That's spelled wrong too, (I think) ... Poor spelling seems to be the key to success! Another time I was griping about people talking at the library, as of this morning this website is #1 for the search term "shushtime" - Gunna have to add that to my fauxcabulary.

I guess this is what passes for "good news" at The Seattle Times . The headline: Baby boomer deaths: good business for funeral industry I didn't have the intestinal fortitude to click on it.

You will hate me for this, but I can't resist posting another little Johnny joke... The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart att...

I had to laugh at this guy's poll. Not "Who are you planning to vote for", no, we're going the cynical route... casino   free polls

Here's a puzzler from the Snohomish County Freecycle list... ... There's no "C" in "Melissa and Doug"

Just got an order from an independent auto shop - The guy's email address is PressHard3Copies@hisemailprovider.net I totally get that, having worked in a shop environment. Maybe I should change to peddlingfuncrapcheapontheinternet@therestlessmouse.com ... Uh, I need to work on that

Inability to sanitize live carp ends fishy foot treatments For the past three weeks, scores of customers descended upon a nail salon in Kent. They came to Peridot Nail Salon and parted with $30, so that for 15 minutes, tiny fish could nibble the dead skin off their feet. Does the government have to protect EVERYBODY from EVERYTHING? They are probably in salt water, does this mean people can't wade in the ocean anymore? After all, it hasn't been sanitized.

I almost made milk come out of my nose when I saw this on eBaY... I reckon they should have planned for rainy days instead.

WHAT will your smoking Babies/ smoking monkeys smoke now? I called the wholesaler just now, apparently they discontinued the extra cig packs! She doesn't know if they are planning to discontinue the Smoking Monkeys and Smoking Babies, but they are both pretty popular, my guess is that they are working on a new package & supplier for those. A few years ago, they recalled the cigs, I even had to take the ones out of the packages they come in with the babies or monkeys, nothing wrong with the cigs., the tobacco companies thought they looked too much like thier real cigarette packages. I hadn't bought any more of the spares since then, but there is a new design on the ones that come with the monkeys so that can't be it. ANYWAY- you get a total of 11 cigs with the thing. I will search for alternatives, but even Johnson-Smith doesn't seem to have them. I remember when I was a kid, they sold tiny self-puffing cigs, you could poke a hole in a dollar and make George "s...