NEVER JET HOT

We have been following this car wreck of a primary election process with varying degrees of interest, surprise, amusement and dread. When we bought the remaining stock from Lakeside Novelty, we inherited tons of these political bills. Hence I have sort of an interest in Hillary getting the democratic nomination, just so we can keep peddling this silly fake money. I know, I am a sad and pathetic little man, and you pity me. Anyway, I was sort of pleased to see that the oddsmakers are in my corner; Super Tuesday Political Betting Odds Online gambling website Bodog Life has Hillary Clinton a big -400 favorite to receive win the majority of primaries on Super Tuesday among Democrats. Senator Barack Obama is most certainly the underdog here paying out $2.50 for every $1.00 bet should he win more than Hillary. John Edwards bowed out of the race early on Wednesday following the Florida Primary. JUST THE SAME - We have all of this political money on sale DIRT CHEAP - $1.99 for each pad of 25 -...

WASHINGTON VOTERS FORCED TO LIE OR STAY HOME "Primary voters will have to pick one party's ballot and sign an oath that they consider themselves a member of that party and haven't attended the other party's caucus." ... Maybe I want to vote FOR a member of a particular party as a NO VOTE on another candidate of that party? And it just so happens that I do not consider myself a member of any particular political entity, least of all the donkey or the elephant. Do I have to LIE to participate? Now my understanding is that we have a caucus and then a primary vote. The Republicans are splitting the results as far as assigning delegates; Democrats are completely IGNORING the results of the primary vote. It seems to me that the caucus consists of the most dogged political junkies and assorted other nutjobs. Apparently, for the most part nationally, THEY get to decide which candidate from each party wins the swimsuit competition, and proceeds to the big dog and pony...

WEATHERMAN SAYS: North Puget Sound supposed to get up to 2 inches of snow tonight. State patrol advises motorists to keep food, water, clothes in their vehicles "in case they get stranded". Gunna get stranded in TWO INCHES of snow?? We can hear New Yorkers laughing from here.

It warms the cockles of my heart that our "Temporary Marriage" certificates sold out long before Temporary Divorce certificates . Now I have them marked down, but maybe people realize that the "temporary divorce" might cost a lot more than 49 cents...

From our local "Freecycle" list; it's an endless source of amusement. I just woke up, and at first I thought a GUY wrote this, or maybe it is so, which would bring shame to all of the male gender; HELP! I was just asked to be in my girlfriends wedding. Need to lose weight ASAP. Anyone have any weights, rowing machine, stairmaster, or any equiptment that is gathering dust or being used as an extra clothes hanger? I could really put to good use. Thank you - I only have 3 months! EEK!! ... EEK indeed. So, what is she going to do "in" her girlfriend's wedding? Sheesh, nobody's going to be looking at you, it's your girlfriend's big day. Just go and don't whine about the ugly bridesmaid dresses. And hope nobody recognizes you from the bachelor party. (Three weeks into the new year does seem the ideal time to obtain cast-off like-new exercise equipment, half empty boxes of nicotine patches, and other personal torture devices)

Gee, if I am going to post something about every little inventory change, why it's a fool time job. Here we have the Life's a gas cartoon fart book back in stock by unpopular demand (Morbid curiousity drives sales). PS Please don't do that in here; (It attracts flies)

The handy prop cigars are back in stock. The thing where you have to blow into rather than light and inhale takes a bit of getting used to for an ex-smoker like myself, but they do look exactly like a real cigar and they will produce a smoke effect if you blow into them. I found that if you poke some holes around on the last inch or so it produces more smoke more easily. Also you can chop it, although you lose the fake ash (I suppose you could reattach it somehow) it still produces smoke. This would be great for the opening scene of "The Odd Couple" if you want to have the TV thing where Oscar finds a used stogie in the street.

We finally got our new round tuits, these ones explicitly inform you "This is a ROUND TUIT for those who were always going to get AROUND TO IT" - It saddens me that some people don't get the gag otherwise. Round TUIT page

It occurs to me that because the merchandise posting "goes away" when we are out of the item, it renders people unable to find it. Exhibit A, our "How to Get Along With Girls" retro reprinted book of one made in the thirties, apparently girls were even harder to get along with then. It's item BV0668, couldn't find it that way either! My bad. I will post here under the INVENTORY tag when they arrive. We do have the FINGER TRAP, aka CHINESE finger traps , They ARE made in China, which makes them somewhat of a rarity in today's marketplace I know. What else. Hmmm, "gagplayingcards". That guy must have been in a hurry. Here's a whole page of gagplayingcards , making those pages easier to locate tops my list of thingsIbetterdosoonbecauseit'scostingusmoney. We do have "Pharmacist Jokes", click "Obligatory Blog" and then "Jokes (no humor)", that should get a laugh somewhere along the line. Other than that, Don...

From "WebProNews"; Yahoo's Molly McCall at The Buzz Log reports that Yahoo searches have spiked in the past week regarding that rather unpleasant term. See, put it out there it just grows. She writes: "Over the past seven days, searchers propelled queries on 'economic recession' and 'recession' upwards. Lookups like 'last u.s. recession' and 'recession proof jobs' spiked. ..." ... See kids, you know how "recess" is when you go outside and the big kids take your lunch money? A recession is kind of like payback, all the bullies whine because nobody has any lunch money to steal, so they can't buy all the cool new toys that come out. Otherwise everything is about the same.

When the navy is choosing sailors for submarine service, do they screen out guys that fart a lot? Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

It's the little things that make or break a B&B. We worked hard to afford a modest anniversary outing, nice little cottage, great breakfast, but they never came back with the pancakes. Not going to starve, but still... I lm not afraid to take on these controversial topics. Too bad no one reads this blog. Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

I know I am too easily amused, but I got the proof for the new ROUND TUIT batch today, I think they will be our best ever. Should be available around the end of January.

Just figured out how to post to the blo using my cell. Expect terse, poorly spelled posts - but more of them! It is the American way. Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

We have a product, a little wooden token that is a "Round Tuit", I bought 2500 last year, just ran out, I knew we were running out, meant to order them, but guess what? I never got A-Round Tu-it. So now we all have to wait until early February for the new batch.

I was looking for a "Second Icon Row" add-on for my Firefox browser, but this guy had a better way... just delete the text part of existing icons, it saves tons of room... But some items on my toolbar have "blank page" icons so now I need to find out how to have a library of substitute icons to use for those. For instance, I have a quick link there to a B&B the wife and I are going to next week, I could put a tiny cottage icon there. My apologies for losing track of who originally said this; I think it was from one of those "Lifehacks" pages. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Bookmark the site on the bookmarks toolbar >Right click the link >Scroll down to Properties >Delete all text from the name:field After which all that remains is the site's very own icon that by default doubles the available real estate on your BM Toolbar space without placing extra burden on your available RAM or having to deal with th...

Anyone see the Space Needle New Year's Fireworks travesty? The whole thing is set to music using a computer program, but the computer froze up. They rebooted it twice, finally gave up and some guy set the fireworks off manually, but there was no grace or beauty to that, it looked like the Needle was being attacked by really fancy terrorists. The music ran out early, and there were no "oooohs" or "aaahs"... just an uncomfortable silence. They cut to the reporters up in the needle during the pause, and not knowing what else to do, the guy reporter gave the girl reporter a passionate kiss to break the tension I guess. That's why they get paid the big bucks, they can work under pressure.