In defense of suburban living

So, it snowed. My sisters who live in the hills are all atwitter about the splendor of rural living. I live in the suburbs. Look, I didn't have to plow anything, and we just keep the house warm and pay a big electric bill later.

I didn't chop any wood, butcher a hog, or read the bible by firelight; No caroling took place this season, unless you count the neighbor kid's car stereo. We didn't raise any birds or rabbits, shoot old yeller, or mend any clothes. We didn't go to any ice cream socials or barn raisings. The snow makes our nieghborhood looks like Courrier & Ives did a documentary about blighted suburbs; Our nieghbor's car has had a flat tire for weeks, my mailbox is dented, and I don't care. It's convenient and carefree living, the way the master planners planned it. (sort of) So don't be gettin' all snooty about your highfalutin woodchoppin' snow-plowing generator-cranking ways!

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