NEVER JET HOT

NEW ITEM ALERT New item, a foot long Rubber Chicken - when squeezed it makes the most annoying sound in the world.

NEW ITEM ALERT This just in, Stewie from Family Guy, spews his vemon while riding on your dashboard! Two activity settings, several sayings. Check out Dashboard Stewie from Family Guy

One of those long two-part bumper stickers. on the left... IF YOU ARE GOING TO RIDE MY ASS continued on the right... ... At least pull my hair.

Here's another special. Please note that there will be several open specials, so scroll down if you don't like the top item. If you use a coupon code that is expired, we will try to honor it anyway, otherwise we will throw in some other cool freebie. If you are a repeat customer, or you friend told you about our site, please let us know in the comments section of your order, also if you have advice our comments about our site, feel free to put that there too- We welcome your advice, customers are the experts on what customers want, eh? Thanks for taking time out of your summer to visit us. - John & Teresa You can get a lovely MONKEY FRESH car air freshener with any measly order of $5 or more, in June 2006 (while it lasts!). Use coupon code phrase "MONKEY FRESH" in the comment field of your order PLEASE READ: Just a few easy rules about these coupons. * Observe expiration date * Must have minimum amount of merchandise in cart. * ONE coupon code per order! Due to ...

We are planning to post a special offer several times a week, what better place for that than a blog. Puh-leeze! Read and heed the two simple restrictions on these; espiration date and minimum merchandise order. Please comment if you you have suggestions or input of any sort. If you like our stuff please tell your friends! They already know you are weird, it will be OK We interrupt this blog to bring you TODAY'S SPECIAL A lovely CHICKEN CHUCKER new in package ; with any order of $20 in merchandise or more. Offer expires 7/15/06. Use coupon code phrase "The sky is falling!" in the comment field of your order PLEASE READ: Due to high order volume we are unable to notify you if you are using an expired coupon code or if your order doesn't meet the minimum (not counting postage) PLEASE read and heed the terms of the coupon code above. Coupon codes that are do not meet those two conditions will be ignored and the order will ship anyway! I know that sounds harsh but it...

I thought potential Mornin' Breeze Stinky Cologne customers should be aware of some of it's limitations, please read the following email exchange. ----- Original Message ----- Subject: FEEDBACK: morning breeze Date: Tue, June 20, 2006 7:35 From: (deleted) > Greetings I need to know if this product would repell neighbor's dog and or neighbor > if sprayed around yard? I also was wondering if you take phone orders? > Thanks > Richard (Up all night thanks to neighbor's dog) To which I respond: Hi, I'm sorry to hear that your nieghbor's dog is keeping you up. I have experienced this myself, fortunately the house in question was a rental and the tenants moved. I do not recommend using "Morning Breeze" to repel dogs in your yard. Don't get me wrong, this product is so incredibly bad-smelling, it will not only repel dogs, but nieghbor children, salespeople, and possibly Jehovah's Witnesses (I don't know, they might think that they get...

No Left Turns - A USA today columnist writes about his dad's secret to longevity, which is to not turn left- His claim is that as people age thier depth perception deteriorates. Turning left into oncoming traffic is inherently dangerous and makes for nasty accidents. I can attest to that, the one where the speeding drunk came over a hill and hit my wife's car smack in the Ft passenger door and pushed her a full city block. She was attempting an ill-advised left turn, the passenger seat could not accomodate Kate Moss after that, let alone a normal suburban American butt. They had to write that car off, fortunately Teresa wasn't seriously hurt and the other driver apparently recovered from his injuries as well. These days, you can safely assume the oncoming driver is watching a movie on thier telephone, eating, or otherwise unable to avoid hitting you, even if you are 95% out of the way by the time they get there. So there is no margin of error. Lets all agree to make 3 righ...

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ File this one under JOKES LOTTERY HUSBANDS and WIVES and SUBURBAN MISERY (We are starting to tag these posts so you can find stuff using our site search on the sidebar, Sally)

I had some business to tend to at the high school, there were some kids pushing an old station wagon in the parking lot. I was thinking, that's an automatic, no chance of push starting it here, there are no hills... then they came around the end of the row and down that way. I'm driving around looking for a place to park, and here they come down a third row. I stop and ask if they need a jump, the driver (steerer?) informs me that it's just for exercise. "It's good for the dogs" (pointing at his feet). At this point one of the pushers mumbled something, I think he said "Easy for you to say". Maybe thier track coach recommended it? Either that or they are trying to steal the car but not very good at it?

Did you ever notice that (in public schools at least) there are dozens of lousy teachers and a few really great ones? The ones that made you "light up" as in "Lux Sit" not a doobie? They should try and get the great ones to have thier kids go into teaching (and pay them all double because they produce at least 10 times the learning) - Maybe it's hereditary. I figure the really pathetic teachers that make sarcastic comments (They are out there - Pink Floyd refers to it in "The Wall", remember?) - those sick individuals would slowly lose thier ability to make young people miserable and would drift off into other occupations.

The 'crooning kid' at EugeneMirman.com sort of creeps me out. (Warning to office drones: Immediate annoying sound!)

Anyone who remembers the glory days of the Pat Cashman Radio Show (Specifically when he was on the BUZZ in the 90's and allowed to run hog wild) Will be thrilled to get a taste of that on KRKO every Wednesday afternoon. Here's a link to the archives of the shows so far, without (real) commercial interruption. Pat Cashman radio archives Those who don't know who Pat Cashman is... Listen anyway. He is very entertaining. If you like the corny humor on TheRestlessMouse.com you will be ga-ga about this show.

A mom went to the kitchen window to check on her two-year-old son, who was playing in the yard with some older children in the neighbourhood. She was horrified to see that they were feeding him an earthworm. She quickly opened the window and screamed at them, "Don't feed him worms! They'll make him sick!" They looked up at her puzzled and asked, "Was he sick yesterday?"

I was googling about the internet traffic decline in the summer, seems that certain kinds of sites do better in the summer months; Weight loss and travel sites have also seen increased summer usage in the past as people try to slim down before venturing to the beach. Folks, I have been on the "Plant your butt in front of the computer diet" for years, and have failed to achieve significant weight loss. Signed, "The Voice of Experience"

Look, I just want to watch a classic Jack Lemmon movie... It's not for "educational" purposes...