NEVER JET HOT

HOW I CAME TO BE LIVING IN MY CAR By John Everett It was in the wee hours of a dark but reasonably calm night. The nieghbor's dog across the creek began to converse with another dog farther along, so I got up to close the window. The shade being already drawn, the room was nearly pitch black. I stubbed the smallest toe of my right foot on a box my wife had thoughtlessly left on the floor.* Cursing, I closed the window, and turned to head for the bathroom. The room in that direction seemed darker still, and I stubbed the smallest toe of my other foot even harder, on the edge of the bed. Since my wife had not moved the bed, I suffered the further indignity of having no one to blame it on but myself. Retreating to the bathroom to examine my wounds, and to pee, my mood turned darker still, as I began to add the previous day of indignities that life had bestowed on me.** Hoping to get some solace from my family through an online family chat room, I began to...

"We at Love Spat & Associates resolve love problems; those which cause heartache and misery by Re-uniting divorced, separated or single couples, using arbitration tactics." I think they need to rephrase that?

One of the items offered today on the Snohomish County FreeCyclers mailing list; Some teacher must want this for a classroom. We stored some cow hoof dog treats in a glass jar and one grew hair. My kids loved it and we kept it as a 'pet'. But ready to pass on. Yeah, like, share the wealth.

This one hits home: An old man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several timeslately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down'. Mark's Friday Funnies - Funny jokes database, over a thousand funnies and jokes!

Does anyone remember "Ghirardelli Flicks"? They were oversized (OK, "humongous") chocolate chips, that came in what was basically a foil-wrapped toilet paper tube. They were wonderful. Our local kid's TV host, JP Patches, used to hawk them mercilessly, probably in cooperation with the ADA's business development division. Anyway, I went to the company website, and found this little tidbit; I remember a candy called "Flicks". Do you still make them? While we recognize many of our consumers remember “Flicks” with a nostalgic fondness, we no longer make the product. When the headquarters of Ghirardelli Chocolate Company moved from Ghirardelli Square in San Francisco to San Leandro, packaging equipment for this product was damaged. This machine was made before World War 1 and since the company that manufactured the machine had long since gone out of business, we were not able to repair the machine. Since that time, we have introduced a line of SQU...

One time when the kids were little we were camping in pup tents, me and Frank in one, Teresa and Daphne in the other, just after dark we were trying to get some sleep, and it sounded like there was a bobcat or some kind of mountain lioness screaming near our campsite, we thought it was going to claw into our tents at any moment, so to save my family from certain death, I ran to the car and turned on the headlamps, which were conveniently pointed at the critter, (Logic being that this will cause them to freeze in the glare of the headlights and then vamoose) - But it turned out to be a feral housecat. A park worker said the place was overrun with them, and that's why there were no squirrels. I wonder if stupid campers were setting out saucers of milk?

Patty, Did you get a load of the full moon? If I was my dog Petey, (or any other small dog, especially a Westie, who may look like a rabbit) ...I wouldn't go out in the back yard until daylight. It looks like a Grimm fairy tale illustration out there. The paper says to keep your small children and pets indoors at night, because of coyotes encroaching on suburbia (Or is it the other way 'round?) The way I see it, there are two opportunities to waste more government money here; 1. Create a think tank that would help endangered species* adopt the coyote's "Urban Environmental Adaption Strategies and Survival Methodologies" * Endangered species - such as those wussy spotted owls- are they too good to eat a housecat? I know you government types like footnotes (Page two) 2. Hire chefs to find a way to make coyote meat a tasty treat, I'm thinking Rachel Rae from TV, people trust her. It doesn't really have to taste good, if there is no way to make it edible, ...

(Boring bloggie talk follows) This guy at the "http://j-walkblog.com/index.php?/weblog/posts/attention_bloggers/">The JWalk Blog is conducting an experiment to see if he can track all the sites that link to this particular blog entry - but I am not going to make it a cake walk by using the suggested link language... We will see....

I got a "link exchange request" from these folks who sell special glasses on the Internet, to wit; In a healthy eye, light rays are focused into a single point on the light sensitive retina at the back of the eyeball. Depending upon the type of refractive disorder endured, less healthy eyes focus light rays in front of or behind the retina, casting a 'blur circle' on the retina itself. The minute pinholes on the surface of the plastic lenses of your pinhole glasses effectively stop down the aperture of the eye's pupil, so pass a narrower beam of light through to the eye lens with a greater depth of field. The narrow beam casts a smaller blur circle on the retina, improving your vision. Pinhole Glasses I'm kind of leery of special glasses since I saw that old sci-fi movie about a guy that developed X-ray vision and clawed his own eyes out at the end.

IT MUST BE TRUE, it's on the INTERNET. "If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves."

And now for something completely different; A man eating a phonograph record.