NEVER JET HOT

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a major asshole to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back." She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door laughing. After almo...

First day of the newspaper ad, I call on an 87 Taurus wagon, only 82,000 miles, it's out in the rural area past Stanwood, where people measure thier lots in acres instead of feet. Old guy's wife answers, but before I can finish saying "Hi, I'm calling about the Taurus station wago--* - She barks "Just a minute!" - Then the guy gets on the phone, answers my questions, I'm getting hopeful, I have conjured the image that this is the couple that posed for the painting in front of the barn with the guy holding the pitchfork- American Gothic? Anyway, I zip up there, anticipating a gleaming machine for only $2,000, with piles of oil-change and blinker repair reciepts and plastic on the back seat. No such luck... Turns out the old guy doesn't have the title yet... He buys a car about once a month from his son the car dealer. You would think his son would shoot old dad something saleable anyway, but no... This thing had at least 182k, maybe 282k on it......

Why do you think this couple is divorcing? ay-25 1978ChvyShorty/1969Ford 3/4 - Divorce Sale Make Offer - $3500 (Marysville, WA) May-25 1975Ventura/1968PlymVIP/1965Ford - Divorce Sale - $2500 (Marysville, wa) May-25 1971&1977Ford/1962Chevy $2,500 ea - Divorce Sale - $2500 (Marysville, WA)

As you know, we have a business selling joke items and corny/tacky stuff online at therestlessmouse.com - So I'm checking out the competition for the corny squirt ketchup and mustard bottles joke - (Just in time for summer picnics!) and at the bottom of the search page google asks me this: Did you mean to search for: squirt ketchup and mustard gas ? Hell no! I just want to startle my friends at the picnic! I don't want to kill them! Criminy, what is the world coming to??

From TheSuperficial.com ; "Looks like Brad Pitt has been taking child care lessons from Britney Spears. Last Thursday he went for a bicycle ride in Namibia with Maddox and Zahara but didn't properly secure Zahara in a child trailer, instead strapping her to his back in a blue papoose without a helmet." TheSuperficial is concerned about bicycle safety here, but I think the bigger issue, he 's taken the children to NAMIBIA. They probably have already had thier young identities stolen three times over! Although with names like Maddox and Zahara Pitt, I recommend they leave thier identities in a brightly colored gift box on a bench at the mall.

Still looking for a car. This craigslist poster gets points for honesty; And it's good that the car has a new "cendencer"- If you don't take care of that your blinker fluid will leak out and cause your catastrophic converter to replode. Or so they tell me. THE CAR RAN GREAT I PUT NEW POINTS & CENDENCER IN & STARTED TO PUT PLUGS IN WHEN IT STARTED RAINING SO I CAME IN & NEVER GOT AROUND TO FINISHING IT

Still looking for a car for Teresa, I just got a call back from a guy, Teresa brought the phone upstairs, I guess he thought that I was on hold or something, I overheard him talking to another guy about Bondo! Scratch the 96 Saturn off my list... Looked at a Taurus yesterday, it ran fine but smelled funny and the brake light kept coming on, among other things. The Hondas and Toyotas in my price window have all had way too much experience, 200k or more! I liked the orange Caprice but suspect it used to be a taxicab. There was a Monte Carlo with a broken windshield which isn't a deal killer, but I looked underneath and the oil pan appeared to be covered with black fur?? Is that an option thing? They must have a bad leak and then drove around in the pussy willows? I keep telling Teresa that if we fix several things on the Corsica it could still be a good driver but she doesn't trust it anymore, sometimes it won't let her in. The passenger front door won't open at all from ...